Today has been a very trying day so far and I haven't even been to class yet. I spent the first part of my day at T.T.I attending my DBT group and my med review. Group was not a good one today. I was extremely aggravated because of my lack of sleep due to the return of my nightmares (that would be a good title for a horror movie lol) Anyways, I have been sleeping about 3 hours per night and that has caused me to become increasingly aggravated. So, the whole time I was in group trying to learn the skills people kept trying to turn it into an individual session for them, and I really just wanted to tell them to shut up, or smack them, or both. Then, my therapist decided to tell me that I'm not homeless because I'm staying with people. I tried to explain that I still don't have a home or a permanent place to live so, in my mind I am homeless, but she just ignored me. All through that I really wanted to hurt myself. I have had increasing urges to self-harm they just keep getting worse. I told my psychiatrist but he didn't do anything about it, though I'm not really sure there is anything he could have done. He refused to put me on anything for my anxiety, and he doubled the dose of my sleeping meds to help me sleep through the nightmares. I met my new case manager while I was there and she seems nice. I also ran into my previous case manager which was nice...I got a hug from her and it was much needed. Hugs are amazing.
Now, soon, I have class. Not just any class though, it is math class...of course. Oh, and to add to my frustration and anxiety we have our first test tonight. Now, this is a little known fact but when tests frustrate me I cry. I really hope this one isn't bad enough to make me cry...I already cried today and I would not like to cry again today.
I hope to sleep tonight and have tomorrow be a better day, but I don't have very high hopes because of these dang nightmares. I really think I have PTSD even though I have never been formally diagnosed with it.
Thanks for taking time out of your day to read my rant.
Love you lots! xoxoxo
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Sounds to me that you are self centered.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not self centered. I am devoting my life to helping people and that's not something self centered people do. Get your facts straight. Oh, and stop being such a coward...come off anon.
DeleteSounds to me like your a dick anonymous number one. This blog is the thoughts and feelings of a person whom has fell on some bad times. If you don't have anything productive to say then keep your damn mouth shut. As for you Kiah I'm sorry you are having a bad day. Keep your chin up tomorrow will bring new opportunities. You probably feel like your waiding through water that's neck high but the sun always shines when it is needed the most. The water will go down eventually. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for sticking up for me. You're awesome :) you really should come off anon!
DeleteYou should listen to The Sun is Rising by Britt Nicole... It goes with Anon #2's statement to you :)
ReplyDeleteThanks...will do!
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