The Battle Has Already Been Won

Things have been happening.

I HAVE A NEW NIECE!!!! 

Also....

I spoke in front of complete strangers at a missionary fireside held by the lovely Sister Hill.

I managed to finally push my controlling (now) ex-boyfriend who loved to guilt trip me, to the point of breaking up with me. This is important because he always tells stories of how terrible girls are and how they all break up with him for no reason. Well, now he cannot say that about me, I refuse to be another one of his sob stories. 

I went to church, linger longer (an after-church gathering thing), and ward prayer all in one day.

I met with my Bishop today (7/29/15) for my temple recommend interview, and I passed!! I can now go to the temple and do baptisms and confirmations for the dead! Super exciting!

With the help of the most wonderful Anna, I started some family history work. 

Tomorrow, I meet with the sisters and, after that, I am planning on starting visiting teaching with Anna. 

All of this was achieved despite being severely suicidal. Lucifer will not win this time, or ever, for the battle has already been won!

My new niece, Amanda Shaye Paige. 

7/26/15 8 lbs 5 oz

Me and the lovely Sister Hill

 (I spoke at her fireside)

My temple recommend

I Guess Sometimes You Really Cannot Escape From Hell

So, as most of you know, about a year ago I was addicted to my anti anxiety medication. Klonopin was my own personal hell. I abused it regularly and if I didn't get it I would start withdrawals. Finally, I got sick of my life revolving around this tiny little pill. I decided to tell my psychiatrist. We decided against treatment and he took me off of it cold turkey. Not long after I was taken off of the medication, I started the withdrawal process. Benzodiazepine withdrawals are so horrible. For months I felt like I was going to die. Then, I was okay again. 

Now here I am a year later and diagnosed with Panic Disorder. Turns out the medication that helps me with my Panic Attacks also happens to be the medication I was addicted to such a short time ago. My roommate and I are determined to not let me get addicted this time. She makes me take it when I have a Panic Attack. I say makes me because I try to refuse to take it. 

I tried to get myself out of hell, only for it to try and lure me back in.

Also before people start hating because the bottle says Clonazepam, Clonazepam is Klonopin. Look it up.